DENIM-ISM: JEANS FAUX PAS

Welcome to the second to the last entry of DENIM-ISM.

To err is human. It is an inevitable part of life. You pick the wrong ones before you finally get the right one. It is a confusing journey, but bliss and valuable lessons are the rewards in the end.

You would encounter a dozen or more of the wrong jeans for you before you get the right pair. They look so good on the racks, but when you pay for 'em and bring 'em home, you'll realize that they just look good on the racks, but not on you. It's comparable to finding a partner. Sometimes, they put their best foot forward at the start. And in the end, you'll also realize that their foot is better off on their face.

Here are some Jeans faux pas that we always encounter every time we go shopping for the perfect pair of jeans. And after reading the entry, keep everything in mind, and you're now set in finding the perfect jeans for you.

TORN

- Yes, these jeans are TORN. They're not ripped. In jeans terminology, ripped jeans means those with tattered and frilly designs. But TORN jeans like this is damn fugly, even if they're hella expensive. If you have bad taste, brands won't save you. So before splurgingfor a pair of TORN jeans, learn from Brandy's huge mistake.

A BAG-LOAD OF CRAP

- Baggy jeans can be pulled off. But Baggy jeans like these are so ugly, that even a super hot and popular rapper or hip- hop artist can't look good in these jeans! Baggy jeans makes you look fat, and much worse, you look like a fashion victim. Boyfriend jeans, which is becoming a trend nowadays for women are just slightly loose, which makes it perfect for a casual look. But oh please, NOT these jeans.

DUCT TAPES

- The skinny jeans have become a staple fashion piece for women. And as the years went by, they've gotten skinnier! I call 'em DUCT TAPES. Skinny jeans that are so tight, that you'll develop a blood clot just by wearing 'em! Some might like the fit, but let me tell you why you should steer clear of these jeans. Super tight jeans blocks ventilation, which is essential in keeping vaginal bacteria at bay. Secondly, it puts so much pressure on your abdomen and leg muscles. And lastly, it creates "Muffin tops", and it can make your cramps worse during your menstruation days. And oh, if you fart, it's easier to find out that you're the culprit behind the gas release because the fit is so tight, it compresses the air, making your fart echo like a trumpet. If you can endure the shame, then be my guest.

MUFFIN TOPS

- Muffin tops are hell ugly. It makes all your unwanted bulge out in all the wrong places. Super tight jeans result to this fashion fail. If you want to hide your size, then choose the right cuts.

FOLDED AND--- HUH?

- Jeans folding. That's a no- no. Unless you're supermodel tall, then you can do this. But if you're short or your height is average, steer clear from this practice. It makes your legs look short and weird. Case in point: Rachel Bilson. Everything was perfect from her head until her shirt. And when I laid my eyes on her jeans, I thought to myself that it would be better if the photo was cropped.

There you have it! Now that you know the common jeans faux pas, keep them in mind and you're on your way to buying the perfect pair even if it's cheap or expensive.

WATCH OUT FOR THE LAST ENTRY OF DENIM- ISM!

DENIM-ISM: SPECIFIC JEANS FOR SPECIFIC BODILY CONCERNS

Finding the perfect jeans is like finding the perfect man. So for this series of entries about one of my favorite piece of clothing, which is denim, I will present to you ways on how to find your dream jeans.

Comparing your jeans to men makes jeans much important and significant. Not only it will save you money, but it will also make you feel good and confident, just like how your perfect man will make you feel.

To start this series of entries, let me show you techniques in finding the specific jeans for a specific body concern. We all know the different types of jeans: bootcut, skinny, straight, flare, wide leg, capri, cargo. Let's just focus on it's sole purpose. And that is to make you look good and fabulous. Jeans is one of your most versatile fashion item, so make sure that it's perfect for you.

PERFECT JEANS= DIVINITY :)

SPAGHETTI LEGS

- If you have thin or skinny legs, you can opt to wear light colored jeans. Or if you prefer the dark colored ones, try choosing cuts in wide leg, full flare, or straight cuts. Skinny jeans will just make your legs look more, well--- SKINNY.

THE THIGHS OF MOTHER EARTH

- Big thighs are a result of genes and fat concentration. One way to keep it slim is to tone it. But if you're not the type who likes exercising (but I still encourage you to do so), then know how to hide them with the right kind of jeans.

As much as possible, steer clear from light colored jeans or jeans with light washes. Light colors emphasizes thighs, making them look bigger and puts them on the spotlight. Opt for dark colored jeans. They make your legs look slimmer. Also, ditch the notion that you should wear loose to make you look slimmer. I'm here to tell you that no, it just makes you look bigger, and much worse, you might look like a fashion victim. Go for slim fit styles, but not the too skinny ones! Straight cuts defines a line, hiding all the curves away.

SHORT BUT SWEET

- Short- legged girls should not only rely on heels to make them look big. Jeans can also make you look slender and long! Stay away from capris. The awkward cut just emphasizes the length of your legs. Choose cuts that slightly flare at them bottom. Try slim bootcuts and semi- flare jeans. You can also wear high- waist jeans. It gives the illusion of longer legs.

MUFFIN IN THE MIDDLE

- This used to be my problem before. Hide your bulging belly by avoiding jeans that give you a "muffin top" (waistlines that squeeze your belly, making them bulge). Opt for low- rise and hipster jeans. That way, it helps de- emphasize your bulging belly. You can also wear semi- loose or empire tops to help disguise your tummy.

J.LO'S GENES

- If you have a booty that calls attention, don't wear jeans that have embroidery or design at the bum area. It just draws attention to your butt more. Opt for jeans that don't have back pockets. If you can't sacrifice the extra pockets, then go for jeans with back pockets that don't have design.

WATCH OUT FOR MORE "OF DENIM AND MEN ENTRIES"!